Well Valentines weekend treated us all very well. So well, that we've taken a few weeks to collect the stories of our sexual shenanigans.
To give you first an update of our hood lover (from the previous blog): Once we got this little guy to come out of his shell (no pun intended), it was quite the ride. Actually, it’s been quite the ride for some time now. He’s actually dating material. But, we don't want to go into detail on dating material guys.
An update on another one of our authors: She’s had quite the month. She has (well actually, had) two guys that are date-able and one that is bone-able. So, it’s Friday night and we’re debating going out. We’re convinced to go out because 3 of our non-bone-able, non-date-able friends said they’d pay for our every move. And they did. So at about 11:00: a pregame, 2 cab rides and 2 bars later, our total $ spent is 0$ and our drink count is: shots of fireball, a few glasses of wine and 3 vodka sodas. We're well on our way to being blacked out. So in her words:
My memory starts to fade at this point and when I say fade, I mean it falls fast, like going down the Intimidator at Kings Dominion. I run into Maurice, my x-sexfriend's best friend. Maurice is from this past summer. He was bone-able, but not date-able (Maurice had a girlfriend). Anyway, so I run into Maurice’s best friend so of course I start texting Maurice in my black out…not a good idea.
While all of this is going on, I've also been texting Dante (bone-able). So he's bojangling at a bar down the street as I try to get him to come to me. So I text him “If you come, I will give you a smooch.” Now this is where it get’s funny. Actually I’m not sure it’s funny, but my girlfriend witnesses this whole thing (obviously I can’t recall - I’m black out remember)? So Dante finally makes his moves over and I go to find him. The normal thing to do is say hi, go grab a beer and introduce him to my girlfriends. Who has time for that? Instead, we skip intro’s and start tickling each other’s tonsils. Also, apparently between make out sessions I manage to give Maurice's best friend my number (who by the way, is a professional football player and looks like Taylor Lautner).
So Dante and I decide to head to my house. We get lost and take a 20 minute detour as well as a pit stop for me to toss my cookies. We get home and the last thing I remember is him walking in on me changing my tampon. We may have made out, but I’m really not sure. Oh and if we did, I definitely didn't brush my teeth prior to the make out sesh.
Saturday morning comes too soon and I have to get up and get ready for my day date with Jabaar (date-able but not bone-able). So I take Dante home and get ready for my day date with Jabaar. I was so hung over, I could barely hold a conversation and we fast forwarded our date and ended early.
Friday night festivities + Saturday morning day date and I’m still at $0 spending. I am however, up one bacterial infection from somehow injecting 2 tampons while guy #2 was watching.
Update on me: I decide to give a date-able, not bone-able friend a chance. We watched a movie and I decided it was OK for him to sleep over. Bad idea, terrible. His feet sweat so badly, they soaked the entire bottom of the bed. Really? That’s disgusting. So naturally, I’m over it. Oh, and this past weekend I made out with my engaged work friend who I somehow have the hotts for. And I want to do it again… #workdesklockerroomfantasies
So instead of spending the night with any of the guys above…we all have our computers on our laps, phones out, texting our bone-able guys because we wouldn't give the date-able guys a chance.
